Imaginary Friends

Isolation has given people permission to make their deepest connections with people in entirely different countries and the world is discovering how irrelevant distance can be. Like long-distance lovers, we all satisfy our need for emotional connection in the absence of touch. In a society only just adapting to the dissolution of monogamy, are we ready for this new challenge on our expectations of relationships? I think it’s about time.

A person can feel equally as lonely in an unhappy marriage as somebody sitting alone in an apartment in a new city. But this isn’t how we define connection as a society; we have expectations of our companions that very few of us have ever given ourselves the time to understand.

But we have layers of needs and layers of friends.

So, come with me on this one. Perhaps it’s time we revisit the wisdom of children and their imaginary friends. Sure, it’s a temporary coping mechanism, but really so are many of our relationships. Our brains are not always so great at differentiating real and imagined situations so perhaps we have been a little too quick to classify this activity as insanity.

Let’s explore it. You can develop this imaginationship in any way you choose but you can’t overthink what you manifest.

The child doesn’t analyse anything to create the friend; it’s simply a manifestation of the need — the missing layer. They don’t judge the person or creature, and they don’t feel guilty. The protector, the entertainer, the companion, the pet that mom and dad wouldn’t let them have.

As adults our needs have become more complex and the computer that drives us sometimes becomes dysfunctional.

Maybe what we manifest is a little scary. Maybe it needs to be. Maybe it’s time we confronted that dark thing we think we are hiding from everyone else (spoiler alert; they probably already know). Our shadows don’t have to define us but much like troubled children they become dangerous when ignored.

But the biggest pleasure of a fantasy world is that we can create it exactly how we want it to be. If you are scared that your imaginary friends are psycho killers, manifest them in indestructible glass boxes first! But it’s useful to meet them; to meet our multifaceted selves and understand what sits behind our needs and decisions.

And it’s fun.

Because in the end, is there really any difference between a properly indulged fantasy and a memory?